St. Peter the gate keeper to the grand gate of the afterlife met the Texan and welcomed him saying "Welcome to paradise. I am sure that you being from Texas will certainly enjoy Paradise."

The Texan replied, "It's pretty, but not as pretty as places around the Alamo."

Peter was not use to this and became somewhat ruffled. St. Peter thought for a minute and clicked his fingers and in an instant they were in another area where there were picturesque rolling hills, whitetail deer and bluebonnets. There was the largest fields of Indian Paintbrush he had ever seen. "Now," said St. Peter proudly "Have you ever seen anything so wonderful?"

The Texan paused and said "Yes, it is very beautiful but it does not hold a candle to the TEXAS HILL COUNTRY in the springtime."

Becoming even more upset, St. Peter then took the Texan to a beautiful white beach, with gentle waves, and the most perfect azure sky. "Now" he proudly asked "Have you ever seen anything this beautiful in Texas?" .

The Texan smiled and said "I guess you've never been to SOUTH PADRE ISLAND."

At this point St. Peter was livid, he took the Texan by the hand to a large rock. On the side of the rock was a massive iron door. St. Peter threw open the door and pushed the Texan into an elevator and said "down" and the elevator started plummeting down.

As they descended, it grew hotter and it gave the Texan a home sick feeling of Texas summers. When the elevator stopped St. Peter pushed open the door to reveal the fires of damnation and Hell. St. Peter looked deep into the eyes of the Texan and said, "NOW, have you got anything in Texas that can top that?"

The Texan thought a moment and shook his head no.   "But I know a couple of good ole boys from HOUSTON that can put that thing out for you."